Do You Need an Adult Recess?

Today is Mother’s Day and it is the day where I feel the least amount of mom guilt for sleeping in and saying no to the dishes in the sink. My Facebook feed is full of friends and family sharing their presents from their loved ones while I bask in the steam from my HOT (I know!) coffee.  I was tagged in an article that I am sure you have read about what mom really wants for Mother’s Day  and it speaks the truth, but really why is it that generally speaking Mother’s Day is the only day we feel less mom guilt when we know we need breaks and should take them guilt free?

 

The other day I was struggling. By struggling I mean, I couldn’t stay focused, I had a short fuse, and as far as I could see nothing was going to go right in the day. Nothing was done on my “To Do List”; instead it seemed to keep growing.

Parents need a breakI have mentioned before, Mom’s Balanced Life is a side hustle. It’s still in the growing stages. I am still working full-time outside of the home. As many busy parents know this adds another factor to the stress of the day. Let me mention we are also in the middle of potty training and anyone who has had to work a full-time job while potty training knows it takes its own toll on a parent’s psyche.

So here I was just about to lose my mind and I thought “I wonder how many other parents feel like this? I am tired of losing my s*** on my family and I am positive they are tired of me losing it” I took a mental note and made a checklist of what was eating at me. Was I hungry? Did I have enough coffee in the day? (I openly admit I a coffee addiction ) Am I communicating to my husband what I need? Are my kids going to die if I really hide in the closet for a minute? These are all legit thoughts that passed through my head.  I finally told my husband I was going to go soak in the tub; took a book, a beer and left my phone out in the living room.

BLISS! Seriously, pure and simple bliss. I spent 45 minutes locked in my bathroom with a steaming hot bath and getting lost in a crazy world that only Terry Goodkind (amazon link) could write. My beer was a tasty stout dark beer called Moose Drool (amazon link) and not looking at a screen or worrying about my Instagram, Pinterest, or email was just the reset I needed.

Besides Mother’s Day do you need an adult recess? Here are some symptoms of life overload and needing to take a step back or throw back an extra glass of wine.

Mom needs a breakYour normal amount of patience is shortened significantly

My temperament isn’t terrible. It could certainly use some fine tuning but that’s another story for another day. I am not talking about if you yell or not. I am talking about when your temperament is considerably different. Did the 5-year-old spill milk and you brought them to tears by your reaction? How about the teenager is asking a million questions and you can’t tolerate the sound of their voice? Maybe your husband is taking a few minutes to play on Facebook and you want to throw his iPhone? Every tiny thing is grading on your mind, life is more unfair than usual.

Any of these sound familiar? These can all indicate you need and must take a minute for yourself. Grab your keys and tell your partner you need 10 minutes to reset. If you are a single parent see if the neighbors or a friend can help you out for a little bit. You do triple the duty those of us in committed relationships so the least we could do is lend a hand when you need it.

You catch yourself hanging out in the car

Coming home from work or the store and you drag your feet to walk into the house. You tell yourself, just a couple more minutes and I will go in. You take a few minutes to play on your phone or just stare out the window, wondering if hiring a maid is realistic and how you can fix your finances to make this come true.

Hanging out in the car alone can actually count as taking a second for yourself. We are busy people; between jobs, kids, marriages, relationships, dreams and when you push yourself to burn the candle at both ends you are setting yourself up for a meltdown. If you are spending a few extra seconds in the car or the bathroom, don’t feel guilty. Take it as a sign you need to cut yourself some slack.

Tension Headaches or Migraines are familiar friendsAdult Recess

Stress-induced headaches are a tale tale sign of needing some self-care or a break from parentville.  Constantly, taking care of adult responsibilities and tiny humans take a toll on a person’s mental capacity causing tenseness in the muscles around your head and jaw to clinch, triggering headaches.

Find a way to relax these muscles; a massage, hot bath or chiropractic treatment can all help ease the pain and allow you some time to your own thoughts.

Headaches according to the Mayo Clinic  is the pain in any region of the head. They can happen on one, both sides and the pain can switch sides throughout a headache. There are varying degrees of pain, from sharp, throbbing or constant dull achiness.

 

Memory lapses

Do you forget where you put your keys? How about looking for your phone while you are talking on it? Short memory lapses like this are another sign that it’s time to recharge your body and mind with a little self-care.

The primary reason the lapes happen is you are on auto pilot. Just going through the motions of day to day life and not being mindful of the world around you. Check out my Pinterest board on Mindfulness for tips on how to practice being more mindful and taking time out for yourself.

Procrastination

For the last two months, I have almost done nothing with the blog. To be totally transparent, I actually have hardly looked at it for over a month until last week.

My full-time job was requiring me to travel more lately, meaning less time with my family. I was feeling guilty and short tempered but I was also putting off items that I really loved and wanted to work on. Then I would get caught up in the cleaning of the house, homework for kids, dinner, and other daily tasks that didn’t need to happen right that second.

Are you finding your passions taking the back burner? The drive for your dream or other important to you items faltering? If you put off too much for you, it can create resentment for the life you are currently living.

Time for adult recess

If you don’t have a self-care routine then these days are likely to happen more often. You are not selfish for needing a few minutes to yourself.  My Pinterest board A Life in Balance is geared toward self-care, finding your own balance and what you can do for yourself.

What is your favorite way to unwind and pamper yourself?

photos are courtesy of pexels.com 

How to Feel Grateful, When Life Feels Hard

How to feel Grateful when life feels hard           I have talked  only a tiny bit about losing my baby boy last year. It is a story I plan on sharing here but I want to make sure I share his story when my heart is as ready as it can be.  His first birthday just passed and with this week being Thanksgiving, it felt like the perfect time to talk about being thankful.  Finding gratitude during a time when it’s REALLY difficult to be thankful. It’s hard enough to pull your heart out of the darkness on regular rough days. You know the ones where you put your keys in the wrong place and can’t find your shoes. But the days when life really seems to be throwing you a million curve balls, those are the days are when being grateful can really help pull you up. Continue reading How to Feel Grateful, When Life Feels Hard

How to Handle Being Overwhelmed

As noted in my post last week , I was over the whole being an adult thing. Yup, this mom basically gave up on fulfilling her “chore” list and took a night off. I didn’t do anything glamorous or even venture out of my own house. This lead into a week where we were put into several situations that caused me to be super overwhelmed. So I did some digging around andoverwhelmed and how to handle found a couple of sources I liked for noting what happens to you when you are overwhelmed and how to handle it. I will insert a few of my own tips and tricks for you as well. Continue reading How to Handle Being Overwhelmed

No AdultingToday

no-adulting-moms-balanced-life

This post originally was going to be about finding your personal balance. Balance is unique to each person. Including (but certainly not limited too) how to add that workout to your day, being more diligent with meditation or tackling that pile of laundry in a more “efficient” way.

To be honest, I didn’t feel like adulting. I didn’t feel like I wanted to get up to even make my kids breakfast or situating the dogs before taking off for my full-time in an office.

So here we are, me hosting a blog on “balancing” out life and finding out what works for you and not writing about it. In my welcome post, I said I wasn’t going to sugar coat it here and I am not going to preach perfection on this site. Perfection is a player in the insecurities we face as women, moms, wives, etc. We are BLASTED with images, documents, movies, and anything else that is aimed to trick our brains into making us believe we aren’t enough.

Summer

I felt like a failure, not feeling the writing bug. Not pushing myself for the dream of being able to have a creative outlet.  All these and various other you suck phrases repeated themselves in my head determined to force me to throw in the towel.

While I wasn’t in the mood to really do major research or actually write at all, I still chose to find my voice. I found a tiny bit of inspiration from this quote “Art is, for me, the process of trying to wake up the soul. Because we live in an industrialized, fast-paced world that prefers that the soul remains asleep.” – Bill Viola. I must share my art, even if it’s just the ramblings of a tired cranky mother.  I had to grab this  “I don’t wanna” attitude for more than pouting.

 

no-adulting-moms-balanced-life

 

I rationalized if I am having these thoughts running through my head, then maybe you are too. We really do live in a world where the world prefers us to remain on auto pilot.   Our days are more hectic than they were just 30 years ago.  With the advancement of technology, our lives have been pushed to being burned out and overstimulated. We as a population are more tired, more stressed, and in many cases overworked.    The majority of the world works on computers, whether in offices or in homes. Phones and tablets are used during down time, to play games, connect on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. Our brains are being hit almost all the time, from the moment we wake up (because how many people don’t use their phones as an alarm?) and yes, I realize I look like a hypocrite being someone who is an author on a blog; something that requires quite a bit of screen time.  But because we are inundated with a constant stimulus, it can drain us dry. Then when we are using our phones during down time and trying to prop our feet up; we get down on ourselves because “so and so” baked cookies with their little ones and “so and so” traveled with their WHOLE family to Europe for ten days! Then that little whisper in the back of your head you didn’t bake cookies today, you didn’t even cook dinner OR why can’t you look as put together as she is? And the list can go on and on.

No-adulting-moms-balanced-life

Time to mellow out on the negative criticism and to just chill out. It’s okay to take a breath and really just try not to lose it on your noisy kids who are making a bigger mess in the living room or to get irritated that your husband played on his phone while you tried to fold laundry.  It’s okay to put down said laundry and have a glass of wine, while your noisy kids attempt to read you a terrible story about the puppy with the spot. The amount of pressure we put on ourselves is overwhelming and it’s time to give ourselves a break.

For my break, because I knew if I did one more thing for someone else or if I had to deal with a money issue one more time; I was going to go postal on my family.  I did the following: I turned off my phone (OFF not vibrate) for the entire night, I had a beer in the shower (yes, it counts as therapy), locked the door to the bathroom (keep kids out during a shower), and then I read stories to my two-year-old.

Personalized Books

The laundry sat on the floor, the dishes were done by my husband, and we had something out of a box for dinner. But you know what? No one died, no one was in tears and to be honest, I felt like I could be a better mom and wife after just those small things. I was able to focus on the here and now and enjoy the small amount of time I have with my family.

Here is your permission to lean back, unwind and refuse to adult today. The dishes can wait one more day and the laundry can still be worn if it’s not folded. So pour that glass of wine (or two) and tell yourself how much YOU HAVE DONE and how much you rock and how much you really mean to those noisy kids and the husband playing his phone in the corner.

What is your favorite way to “unadult”?   PS- this is not me in the photo below, but I think I might have to try a selfie this way!

 

funny-mommy-moms-balanced-life

 

Photos courtesy of pexls.com

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