Today is Mother’s Day and it is the day where I feel the least amount of mom guilt for sleeping in and saying no to the dishes in the sink. My Facebook feed is full of friends and family sharing their presents from their loved ones while I bask in the steam from my HOT (I know!) coffee. I was tagged in an article that I am sure you have read about what mom really wants for Mother’s Day and it speaks the truth, but really why is it that generally speaking Mother’s Day is the only day we feel less mom guilt when we know we need breaks and should take them guilt free?
The other day I was struggling. By struggling I mean, I couldn’t stay focused, I had a short fuse, and as far as I could see nothing was going to go right in the day. Nothing was done on my “To Do List”; instead it seemed to keep growing.
I have mentioned before, Mom’s Balanced Life is a side hustle. It’s still in the growing stages. I am still working full-time outside of the home. As many busy parents know this adds another factor to the stress of the day. Let me mention we are also in the middle of potty training and anyone who has had to work a full-time job while potty training knows it takes its own toll on a parent’s psyche.
So here I was just about to lose my mind and I thought “I wonder how many other parents feel like this? I am tired of losing my s*** on my family and I am positive they are tired of me losing it” I took a mental note and made a checklist of what was eating at me. Was I hungry? Did I have enough coffee in the day? (I openly admit I a coffee addiction ) Am I communicating to my husband what I need? Are my kids going to die if I really hide in the closet for a minute? These are all legit thoughts that passed through my head. I finally told my husband I was going to go soak in the tub; took a book, a beer and left my phone out in the living room.
BLISS! Seriously, pure and simple bliss. I spent 45 minutes locked in my bathroom with a steaming hot bath and getting lost in a crazy world that only Terry Goodkind (amazon link) could write. My beer was a tasty stout dark beer called Moose Drool (amazon link) and not looking at a screen or worrying about my Instagram, Pinterest, or email was just the reset I needed.
Besides Mother’s Day do you need an adult recess? Here are some symptoms of life overload and needing to take a step back or throw back an extra glass of wine.
Your normal amount of patience is shortened significantly
My temperament isn’t terrible. It could certainly use some fine tuning but that’s another story for another day. I am not talking about if you yell or not. I am talking about when your temperament is considerably different. Did the 5-year-old spill milk and you brought them to tears by your reaction? How about the teenager is asking a million questions and you can’t tolerate the sound of their voice? Maybe your husband is taking a few minutes to play on Facebook and you want to throw his iPhone? Every tiny thing is grading on your mind, life is more unfair than usual.
Any of these sound familiar? These can all indicate you need and must take a minute for yourself. Grab your keys and tell your partner you need 10 minutes to reset. If you are a single parent see if the neighbors or a friend can help you out for a little bit. You do triple the duty those of us in committed relationships so the least we could do is lend a hand when you need it.
You catch yourself hanging out in the car
Coming home from work or the store and you drag your feet to walk into the house. You tell yourself, just a couple more minutes and I will go in. You take a few minutes to play on your phone or just stare out the window, wondering if hiring a maid is realistic and how you can fix your finances to make this come true.
Hanging out in the car alone can actually count as taking a second for yourself. We are busy people; between jobs, kids, marriages, relationships, dreams and when you push yourself to burn the candle at both ends you are setting yourself up for a meltdown. If you are spending a few extra seconds in the car or the bathroom, don’t feel guilty. Take it as a sign you need to cut yourself some slack.
Tension Headaches or Migraines are familiar friends
Stress-induced headaches are a tale tale sign of needing some self-care or a break from parentville. Constantly, taking care of adult responsibilities and tiny humans take a toll on a person’s mental capacity causing tenseness in the muscles around your head and jaw to clinch, triggering headaches.
Find a way to relax these muscles; a massage, hot bath or chiropractic treatment can all help ease the pain and allow you some time to your own thoughts.
Headaches according to the Mayo Clinic is the pain in any region of the head. They can happen on one, both sides and the pain can switch sides throughout a headache. There are varying degrees of pain, from sharp, throbbing or constant dull achiness.
Do you forget where you put your keys? How about looking for your phone while you are talking on it? Short memory lapses like this are another sign that it’s time to recharge your body and mind with a little self-care.
The primary reason the lapes happen is you are on auto pilot. Just going through the motions of day to day life and not being mindful of the world around you. Check out my Pinterest board on Mindfulness for tips on how to practice being more mindful and taking time out for yourself.
For the last two months, I have almost done nothing with the blog. To be totally transparent, I actually have hardly looked at it for over a month until last week.
My full-time job was requiring me to travel more lately, meaning less time with my family. I was feeling guilty and short tempered but I was also putting off items that I really loved and wanted to work on. Then I would get caught up in the cleaning of the house, homework for kids, dinner, and other daily tasks that didn’t need to happen right that second.
Are you finding your passions taking the back burner? The drive for your dream or other important to you items faltering? If you put off too much for you, it can create resentment for the life you are currently living.
If you don’t have a self-care routine then these days are likely to happen more often. You are not selfish for needing a few minutes to yourself. My Pinterest board A Life in Balance is geared toward self-care, finding your own balance and what you can do for yourself.
What is your favorite way to unwind and pamper yourself?
photos are courtesy of pexels.com