Let’s talk about baby weight. Let’s talk about the uncomfortable place of losing baby weight after the loss of a child. With my last pregnancy I gained 45 lbs. After his birth, I lost the normal 20ish lbs. that comes from giving birth. But I gained 10 lbs. back and I have been hanging around that number since. Losing baby weight is difficult enough when you are lacking sleep from a new born and running a house hold. Add the factor of jobs and other children to the equation and you have a tough formula to work with as it is. Then there are those of us angel moms who have a different battle to add to the post pregnancy war.
Moving forward without your new born is something not many talk about. Some move into being super healthy and using working out as their therapy. A sweet lady (who I love dearly) from my last job lost her son when he was just three months old, she confided in me that his death is what was the driving force for her to be in the health industry. She is a senior fitness instructor, over 55 and teaches up to six senior fitness classes a day. For me she is also someone to be admired. I was on the opposite end of the spectrum. I didn’t care about my eating habits and to be honest I found comfort in high sugary foods. Those foods that give you positive feedback, like a drug. I lived on coffee and high processed foods. Working out never made it on my “to do” list. Auto pilot is a good description of my life. I woke up, got kids ready for the day, ate, went to work, maybe visited my counselor, and repeat. The breaks I took from auto piloting were when I would meet with my friends or other angel moms. These were people I (still) take comfort in.
From Christmas time last year until probably July of this year, I was in a haze. A place, that I didn’t fully grasp until we moved and had been in the new city for about a month. My husband and I had some frank and difficult discussions. Bringing me to the realization that I needed more help than just winging it every day. It’s been a year since he departed this world. I have finally started seeking help for the depression and coming to the conclusion, I need more than wish for life to happen. It’s time to start the process of taking care of myself to live a life that I can be proud of, to live a life he would be proud of. So here I am, adding a new section to my blog. A journal of my journey for weight loss and growth as I continue to move forward without my adorable boy, I will be sharing workout progress, recipes I do and don’t recommend and hopefully I will be able to share this crazy leap with so many supporters!
So next week I will be posting my S.M.A.R.T Goals for weight loss and tackling this during the holidays. My beginning weight (EEEK!!) and all the freaking crazy thoughts I am having. Here we go!!
I welcome you to comment, offer support, offer love, share your own stories and tips! I want this to be a positive place for you and for me. It’s all about finding a balance right?