This week’s inspiration Tuesday is going to be a little different. I missed my normal weekly post due to traveling and well, a depressive episode. You see this week marks the week my son was born, just one year ago. Life has moved forward and a lot has changed since he was here and gone. His story is on its way to being told here but I am having a difficult time sharing him with the world. He is so very precious to me and so very special. In fact, he is my source for this week’s Inspiration Tuesday.
I mentioned that I was travelling last weekend. We went to my hometown for a large 80th Birthday gig for my maternal grandparents. They both turned 80 this year and their children decided to throw them this surprise party. I literally had to force myself to go. There are A LOT of people on both sides of my family and there are some very strong opinions that circulate this group of people. During our journey with Owen, I had a lot of virtual support but not many people knew what to say to me in person. Since his death I really haven’t been to many family gatherings if I know there will be a large amount of people there. It causes an anxiety I have never had and I hate the awkwardness that my presence seems to trigger for most people. But I went to this party for my grandparents and for my Owen.
Something very special happened at this birthday party. My two year old was ornery and my husband took over as primary care person so I could chat with a couple of my favorite relatives. Someone who is currently pregnant and had a major scare early on in her pregnancy asked me “How do you do it? How do you get up every day?” She wasn’t rude and in fact she wasn’t at all accusing. It was a genuine question of how I find the strength to put one let in front of the other every single day without my son. I honestly had never really been asked this question and I was so happy she asked when I had the answer. He is my inspiration. Every. Single. Day. He is the reason I get up. Our time together on this little tiny spec in the universe was short and was awesome. He taught me what the bigger picture really is. He taught me to believe in me and he taught me that life is too short to not chase your dreams.
As difficult as it was go to this party and to see so many babies that my son should have been playing with. I am glad for this single moment. I am glad for the clarity of being able to see that my son still walks with me. He is the reason I move forward in life and he is the reason I decided to start this blog. I wanted a place to inspire and to help other mom’s and dad’s through the many different journeys of life. I want to make a difference and I want to inspire the way my Angel Boy inspires me. Do your best to embrace life. Spread love and joy whenever you can. I am a living testament that life is unfair and it is hard, but it can also be joyful and purposeful.
Find your purpose! Find your inspiration! Then come share it here!