This post originally was going to be about finding your personal balance. Balance is unique to each person. Including (but certainly not limited too) how to add that workout to your day, being more diligent with meditation or tackling that pile of laundry in a more “efficient” way.
To be honest, I didn’t feel like adulting. I didn’t feel like I wanted to get up to even make my kids breakfast or situating the dogs before taking off for my full-time in an office.
So here we are, me hosting a blog on “balancing” out life and finding out what works for you and not writing about it. In my welcome post, I said I wasn’t going to sugar coat it here and I am not going to preach perfection on this site. Perfection is a player in the insecurities we face as women, moms, wives, etc. We are BLASTED with images, documents, movies, and anything else that is aimed to trick our brains into making us believe we aren’t enough.
I felt like a failure, not feeling the writing bug. Not pushing myself for the dream of being able to have a creative outlet. All these and various other you suck phrases repeated themselves in my head determined to force me to throw in the towel.
While I wasn’t in the mood to really do major research or actually write at all, I still chose to find my voice. I found a tiny bit of inspiration from this quote “Art is, for me, the process of trying to wake up the soul. Because we live in an industrialized, fast-paced world that prefers that the soul remains asleep.” – Bill Viola. I must share my art, even if it’s just the ramblings of a tired cranky mother. I had to grab this “I don’t wanna” attitude for more than pouting.
I rationalized if I am having these thoughts running through my head, then maybe you are too. We really do live in a world where the world prefers us to remain on auto pilot. Our days are more hectic than they were just 30 years ago. With the advancement of technology, our lives have been pushed to being burned out and overstimulated. We as a population are more tired, more stressed, and in many cases overworked. The majority of the world works on computers, whether in offices or in homes. Phones and tablets are used during down time, to play games, connect on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. Our brains are being hit almost all the time, from the moment we wake up (because how many people don’t use their phones as an alarm?) and yes, I realize I look like a hypocrite being someone who is an author on a blog; something that requires quite a bit of screen time. But because we are inundated with a constant stimulus, it can drain us dry. Then when we are using our phones during down time and trying to prop our feet up; we get down on ourselves because “so and so” baked cookies with their little ones and “so and so” traveled with their WHOLE family to Europe for ten days! Then that little whisper in the back of your head you didn’t bake cookies today, you didn’t even cook dinner OR why can’t you look as put together as she is? And the list can go on and on.
Time to mellow out on the negative criticism and to just chill out. It’s okay to take a breath and really just try not to lose it on your noisy kids who are making a bigger mess in the living room or to get irritated that your husband played on his phone while you tried to fold laundry. It’s okay to put down said laundry and have a glass of wine, while your noisy kids attempt to read you a terrible story about the puppy with the spot. The amount of pressure we put on ourselves is overwhelming and it’s time to give ourselves a break.
For my break, because I knew if I did one more thing for someone else or if I had to deal with a money issue one more time; I was going to go postal on my family. I did the following: I turned off my phone (OFF not vibrate) for the entire night, I had a beer in the shower (yes, it counts as therapy), locked the door to the bathroom (keep kids out during a shower), and then I read stories to my two-year-old.
The laundry sat on the floor, the dishes were done by my husband, and we had something out of a box for dinner. But you know what? No one died, no one was in tears and to be honest, I felt like I could be a better mom and wife after just those small things. I was able to focus on the here and now and enjoy the small amount of time I have with my family.
Here is your permission to lean back, unwind and refuse to adult today. The dishes can wait one more day and the laundry can still be worn if it’s not folded. So pour that glass of wine (or two) and tell yourself how much YOU HAVE DONE and how much you rock and how much you really mean to those noisy kids and the husband playing his phone in the corner.
What is your favorite way to “unadult”? PS- this is not me in the photo below, but I think I might have to try a selfie this way!
Photos courtesy of pexls.com
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