Inspiration Tuesday- Self Acceptance

This week for Inspiration Tuesday we are touching briefly (for today) on self acceptance. Something I know everyone struggles with and I am no stranger to it.

I am a tall person, 5′ 10″ to be exact and I was so much taller than everyone else during my teen years. I hated being as tall as I was, until I watched a 90’s classic; Clueless. The line “I want to be 5′ 10″ like Cindy Crawford” struck a cord with this tall and very boyish figured girl. I wanted so much to be short and to “fit in” but I couldn’t do anything about how tall I was going to be. When I heard that line I was more inclined to accept my above average height. I decided to use my  height to my advantage; enter swimming and water polo. I was good in the water and I liked being an athlete.

It was a little easier to accept things back then.  Facebook didn’t exist, Instagram and smart phones were a thing of the future and the only place where air brushed photographs existed was in the magazines.

Fast forward 18 years. Here we are blasted with get the perfect body, get the perfect kid, get the perfect house,  and so much more. Self acceptance is hard in a world touting perfection. Last week I wrote about embracing my hot mess mom-ness. I wanted to empower ALL moms, whether you are a hot mess mom, a put together mom, a single mom, military mom; whatever mom you are, you are doing the best you can and you are awesome.

Inspirational quote for moms - self acceptance

Let’s embrace our motherhood in all it’s shapes and forms. Let’s embrace ourselves in all our shapes and forms. Self acceptance is contagious, if our children see us believe in ourselves and how we can do hard things; then they will believe they are capable of hard things. We don’t have to be perfect to be good examples.

What does your self acceptance look like?

 

 

Inspiration Tuesday- Finding Purpose

Inspiration Tues- purpose in lifeThis week’s inspiration Tuesday is going to be a little different. I missed my normal weekly post due to traveling and well, a depressive episode. You see this week marks the week my son was born, just one year ago. Life has moved forward and a lot has changed since he was here and gone. His story is on its way to being told here but I am having a difficult time sharing him with the world. He is so very precious to me and so very special. In fact, he is my source for this week’s Inspiration Tuesday.

I mentioned that I was travelling last weekend. We went to my hometown for a large 80th Birthday gig for my maternal grandparents. They both turned 80 this year and their children decided to throw them this surprise party. I literally had to force myself to go. There are A LOT of people on both sides of my family and there are some very strong opinions that circulate this group of people.  During our journey with Owen, I had a lot of virtual support but not many people knew what to say to me in person. Since his death I really haven’t been to many family gatherings if I know there will be a large amount of people there.  It causes an anxiety I have never had and I hate the awkwardness that my presence seems to trigger for most people. But I went to this party for my grandparents and for my Owen.Finding Purpose

Something very special happened at this birthday party. My two year old was ornery and my husband took over as primary care person so I could chat with a couple of my favorite relatives. Someone who is currently pregnant and had a major scare early on in her pregnancy asked me “How do you do it? How do you get up every day?” She wasn’t rude and in fact she wasn’t at all accusing. It was a genuine question of how I find the strength to put one let in front of the other every single day without my son. I honestly had never really been asked this question and I was so happy she asked when I had the answer. He is my inspiration. Every. Single. Day. He is the reason I get up. Our time together on this little tiny spec in the universe was short and was awesome. He taught me what the bigger picture really is. He taught me to believe in me and he taught me that life is too short to not chase your dreams.

As difficult as it was go to this party and to see so many babies that my son should have been playing with. I am glad for this single moment. I am glad for the clarity of being able to see that my son still walks with me. He is the reason I move forward in life and he is the reason I decided to start this blog. I wanted a place to inspire and to help other mom’s and dad’s through the many different journeys of life. I want to make a difference and I want to inspire the way my Angel Boy inspires me. Do your best to embrace life. Spread love and joy whenever you can. I am a living testament that life is unfair and it is hard, but it can also be joyful and purposeful.

Find your purpose! Find your inspiration! Then come share it here!

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No AdultingToday

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This post originally was going to be about finding your personal balance. Balance is unique to each person. Including (but certainly not limited too) how to add that workout to your day, being more diligent with meditation or tackling that pile of laundry in a more “efficient” way.

To be honest, I didn’t feel like adulting. I didn’t feel like I wanted to get up to even make my kids breakfast or situating the dogs before taking off for my full-time in an office.

So here we are, me hosting a blog on “balancing” out life and finding out what works for you and not writing about it. In my welcome post, I said I wasn’t going to sugar coat it here and I am not going to preach perfection on this site. Perfection is a player in the insecurities we face as women, moms, wives, etc. We are BLASTED with images, documents, movies, and anything else that is aimed to trick our brains into making us believe we aren’t enough.

Summer

I felt like a failure, not feeling the writing bug. Not pushing myself for the dream of being able to have a creative outlet.  All these and various other you suck phrases repeated themselves in my head determined to force me to throw in the towel.

While I wasn’t in the mood to really do major research or actually write at all, I still chose to find my voice. I found a tiny bit of inspiration from this quote “Art is, for me, the process of trying to wake up the soul. Because we live in an industrialized, fast-paced world that prefers that the soul remains asleep.” – Bill Viola. I must share my art, even if it’s just the ramblings of a tired cranky mother.  I had to grab this  “I don’t wanna” attitude for more than pouting.

 

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I rationalized if I am having these thoughts running through my head, then maybe you are too. We really do live in a world where the world prefers us to remain on auto pilot.   Our days are more hectic than they were just 30 years ago.  With the advancement of technology, our lives have been pushed to being burned out and overstimulated. We as a population are more tired, more stressed, and in many cases overworked.    The majority of the world works on computers, whether in offices or in homes. Phones and tablets are used during down time, to play games, connect on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. Our brains are being hit almost all the time, from the moment we wake up (because how many people don’t use their phones as an alarm?) and yes, I realize I look like a hypocrite being someone who is an author on a blog; something that requires quite a bit of screen time.  But because we are inundated with a constant stimulus, it can drain us dry. Then when we are using our phones during down time and trying to prop our feet up; we get down on ourselves because “so and so” baked cookies with their little ones and “so and so” traveled with their WHOLE family to Europe for ten days! Then that little whisper in the back of your head you didn’t bake cookies today, you didn’t even cook dinner OR why can’t you look as put together as she is? And the list can go on and on.

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Time to mellow out on the negative criticism and to just chill out. It’s okay to take a breath and really just try not to lose it on your noisy kids who are making a bigger mess in the living room or to get irritated that your husband played on his phone while you tried to fold laundry.  It’s okay to put down said laundry and have a glass of wine, while your noisy kids attempt to read you a terrible story about the puppy with the spot. The amount of pressure we put on ourselves is overwhelming and it’s time to give ourselves a break.

For my break, because I knew if I did one more thing for someone else or if I had to deal with a money issue one more time; I was going to go postal on my family.  I did the following: I turned off my phone (OFF not vibrate) for the entire night, I had a beer in the shower (yes, it counts as therapy), locked the door to the bathroom (keep kids out during a shower), and then I read stories to my two-year-old.

Personalized Books

The laundry sat on the floor, the dishes were done by my husband, and we had something out of a box for dinner. But you know what? No one died, no one was in tears and to be honest, I felt like I could be a better mom and wife after just those small things. I was able to focus on the here and now and enjoy the small amount of time I have with my family.

Here is your permission to lean back, unwind and refuse to adult today. The dishes can wait one more day and the laundry can still be worn if it’s not folded. So pour that glass of wine (or two) and tell yourself how much YOU HAVE DONE and how much you rock and how much you really mean to those noisy kids and the husband playing his phone in the corner.

What is your favorite way to “unadult”?   PS- this is not me in the photo below, but I think I might have to try a selfie this way!

 

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Photos courtesy of pexls.com

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